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file:///Users/stephenford/Desktop/Steves%20Pictures/100_0801.JPG

A picture of my place

coming soon

I Believe

This concept of belief is strange. I tend to say that all words are merely said. Even thoughts inside our minds are like quiet words.  When people say. ” I believe there is a God’ what they are really saying is ” I’m saying that I’m saying there is a God.’ They use the word ‘belief’ to distinguish the type of speech they are using. It is as if ‘belief’ is this superglue of the mind.

Atheists also have this belief super glue but they are dead certain that there isn’t a God. And they say it, ‘There isn’t a God.’ Are you sure? Yes I’m sure there isn’t.

Then there’s the agnostic. ‘ I believe I don’t know if there is one or there isn’t.’ He/her seems so sure that they don’t believe one way or other.

I’m not an atheist either or an agnostic. This is because I change my mind (I’m a change-my-minder). I’ve done it on a few occasions and I suspect I’ll do it again.

Nostril Pervert

MR. Divine:  What parent lets their toddler tongue a pig in broad daylight?

Johnny Mac: Precisely. One should at least wait for nightfall

Mr. Divine: I've looked more carefully at this picture and it appears like the toddler is actually licking inside the pig's nostrils for snot. If this is your child JM don't you think you should feed it more?

Johnny Mac: Ah Mr D, not mine; I am merely the sinister figure whose sandalled foot you can half see at the edge of the photo, who has just promised the innocent child an ice cream if he will snog porkie. At the moment the picture was taken I was, of course, cackling evilly.

Free At Last

It was in the middle of the night that he managed to free his body. He had spent nearly a week chained to the kitchen making cakes and chocolate which the lady wolfed down with ease. 

She went out on Friday night to one of her dos and got plastered. 

'Hey ho away we go donkey riding, donkey riding' could be heard as she stumbled through the front door.

He was ordered to make a goodnight cake with lashes of chocolate. Again she scoffed the lot despite having already drowned 15 pints of John Smiths and God knows how many packets of cheese and onion crisps. 

She in for a hangover and a half!

Port and Dope

Sometimes I've gone on the smoking dope and drinking herbal tea diet. It is said that a bit of kif is like a blazing fire. Usually if I can stick to smoking in the late afternoons it is not too bad. But if I'm smoking dope nowadays it's usually an all day thing and I can't give it up. .. the blazing fire is a bloody ocean. Booze is a bit easier to give up for me. Not wishing to brag but I'm incredibly clean at the moment . God only knows how long it will last. I was on the port and dope big time last year. I'll front up to my new neighbours' doors at 3 in the afternoon and 'chat'... with my bottle of port. I've hardly spoken to them this year .. and they never come round to my place! Sounds familiar?

Mormon Abortion

Matsue, Japan 1993 in the middle of a psychotic episode I had a conversation with a Mormon bishop. I was contemplating becoming a Mormon and the bishop asked me if I had done anything seriously wrong. The only thing that came to mind was cheating on one of my girlfriends so I told him that. He said that it wasn't serious and what was serious was an abortion. I had partners who had abortions. I didn't answer him and our attention turned to a flower bed full of cats, partly wild. It was astrange time because it was just before the Kobe earthquake and I had also seen thousands of small mice in one area as well as large gatherings of snails.

I only lasted a day or two as a Mormon as my psychosis moved to new fields.